"Vulnerability Hangover"

Let me start off by saying this is not adoption related, but just something that has consumed my thoughts and I'm hopeful that writing about it will be therapeutic.

Confession...many moons ago, I may have, on occasion suffered from a hangover.  Headache, cravings for salty/bad food, need for dark quiet isolation, regret, embarrassment, shame, lethargy... after effects, just to name a few. 

This past week something bad happened to me.  Please know that even as I am sharing this, I have fear of your judgment of me.  You see, I want people to like me and to think I'm intelligent.  I have major pride issues and humility is not my strength.  I want to be in control and handle problems by myself.  I will give you the "Reader's Digest" version of what happened to me...

Last Monday around 4:10pm, my phone rings and the number indicates that it is our county sheriff's department.  I immediately think about how I went down there a couple of months ago to get a criminal history clearance form completed and wonder if this call has something to do with that.  Believe it or not, I don not frequently communicate with law enforcement.  The man identified himself to be with the warrants division and informed me that I had 2 warrants for my arrest because I failed to appear for jury duty.  I'll skip some of the details, but basically he and another man set in motion a scam that I fell for and gave them $800.  I reacted completely out of fear and never had time to slow down to really think through all that these "officers" were telling me.  When I mentioned that I needed to call my husband, he questioned my mental capacity.  Um, remember I have pride issues.  They threatened to send an officer to my house to arrest me.  I offered to come to them and they said they would have to arrest me due to the warrants that were already in my name.  I was to pay the fines first to uplift the warrants and then we would begin the investigation with the post office because they would have the record of the the certified mail.  I was so fearful that this would cause a blemish on my criminal history record and that our adoption of Eli would be in jeopardy.  They never let me off the phone and kept the conversation going the entire time I was on the phone with them.  I shared with one officer about our adoption and fear that I needed this cleared up immediately.  Well, he took that and ran with it.  He even told me that he and wife had always wanted to adopt.  I was the easiest money these guys made that day.  I fell hard!  It wasn't until I sent the money and called Jon that I realized that it was a scam.  ***Police report was filed, bank account closed, attempt to get money back from our bank was denied.  Some of you may want more details, but I don't want you to focus on the scam or how I fell for it.  Here's my focus...

Ok, so let me just tell you what it looked like when my husband came home.  I had been holding it together...calling the bank, sheriff's office to inform them that their phone number had been hacked/spoofed, replaying the conversation in my mind.  When Jon came in, shame flooded me like nothing I've ever experienced.  I handed him my phone and ran to our bedroom, closed the door and collapsed in the bed.  I cried harder than I have in recent memory.  My children could hear me crying and thought that someone had died.  I was humiliated that I could be so stupid to fall for this.  I replayed the conversation and could hear the enemy's whispers, "You are so stupid!"  Jon came in and said all the perfect things you say to your wife when they are crying like you've never seen before...He said, "it's ok, it's not your fault, I'm not mad at you."  I told him that I needed to be alone.  I wanted to hide and never come out.  I cried out to God in my despair and guess what!  He spoke!  He said, "How much more will you let them take from you?"  I was reminded of John 10:10, "the thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy".  The enemy had done all 3 to me that afternoon.  So, I sucked it up and allowed myself a few more moments of a pity party.  I emerged from the bedroom with swollen, red eyes (I'm not a pretty crier).  My children looked at me like I just escaped from a mental hospital.  I decided that I didn't want him to take anything else from me.  I would like to say that it was that easy...just flipping a switch, but it hasn't been.  It's a daily choice to focus on the joy that I have in my life. 

I woke up several times that night and didn't sleep well.  My heart was burdened.  I needed to share what happened to me, but I didn't know where to turn.  My husband knew, but I wasn't sure who I could tell that would really get me.  I didn't need to be questioned about why I had fallen for it.  I needed someone to listen and say, man that sucks/I'm so sorry/I would've done the same thing.  So I called my friend Kristen and unloaded my heart to her.  Thankfully, she said everything I needed to hear and more.  That night and the next morning I shared with a few friends at church.  Each time, I felt the urge to hold back information because I feared what they would think of me.  Wednesday morning, a friend texted me at the perfect moment during a mental breakdown spiritual awakening.  We ended up talking and she told me about this speaker, Brene Brown, who coined the term "vulnerability hangover".  That perfectly defined me. Funny enough, similar symptoms of a regular hangover...see above.  I felt exposed and raw each time I shared the details.  I worried about what people thought of me.  I will say that most of the people that I've told or that have heard about it, have been so gentle and kind.  It hurts when people question why you didn't do things differently.  I am still struggling with my mistake and realize that if I'd done just this one thing differently then it wouldn't have happened...

Truth is: I made a mistake that humiliated me and will likely make many more.  I'm sharing it with you in hopes of two things.  1)That this scam won't happen to you.  2)That you will allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your mistakes, rather than trying to hide them and appear perfect.  I watched this video of Brene Brown where she talks about vulnerability.  Take 20 minutes and watch this link to see what she says on this topic. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB8QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ted.com%2Ftalks%2Fbrene_brown_on_vulnerability%3Flanguage%3Den&ei=mlw1VdSRCcqlNtLigegO&usg=AFQjCNFLOgIJmTUe-QltELWMYsqIFtZkBw&sig2=iX3L6KUqzqMIILuVVSfcDg&bvm=bv.91071109,d.eXY

Friends, none of us have it all together.  We've all got skeletons in our closet.  The enemy wants us to feel isolated and ruled by fear.  God wants us to do life together.  That means the good and the bad.  I'm not saying you should publicly air your dirty laundry (I realize the irony), but share your burdens with a trustworthy source. Don't let fear of rejection keep you from being real.  God is a redeemer.  He will use your vulnerability to bring you closer to Him and to reflect Him to others. Okay, I'm feeling a "vulnerability hangover" coming on...I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite authors:

Jesus on the eye chart...and DTC!!!

 

"Pirate ship (such a boy answer), O, Jesus"... this is what Sam said during his eye exam at his pediatric check up this week.  I had to help articulate for him to the nurse and when he said "Jesus", she smiled and agreed wholeheartedly.  Sam saw what he views as a cross and kept saying Jesus every time she pointed to this picture.  I probably should have paid closer attention to what he scored on his eye exam, but I was just so in awe of this little boy that saw Jesus on the eye chart.  The faith of a child!!!  Thank you to his awesome preschool teachers, Ms. Kim and Ms. Julie, that have played such a big part in teaching him about Jesus and the cross.  Sam has been asking some questions about that indicate that he's growing more curious about Him. 

Here was a cute exchange between Sam and his doctor:

Dr. J: You have 1 brother and 1 sister.  Am I right or wrong?
Sam: You wrong...I have Eli, Brooks and Emily.

Our doctor, also an adoptive parent, said he loved that Sam started the list with Eli!  Me too!  Jon and the boys completed building bunk beds and Sam says he wants Eli to sleep with him.  I'm just so thankful that God is preparing his heart to be a big brother.  I know that it will not be an easy road and that they will fight, but man it's so cool to see this transformation.  And now for more exciting news...

WE ARE DTC!!! Some of you may be asking, what the heck does that mean???  Well, in the China adoption language those letters mean Dossier to China!!!  Our dossier is 13 documents that tell all about our family and our deepest, darkest secrets. ;-)  DTC is a big milestone and such a sense of relief that we are one step closer to Eli.  Next, we wait to be LID- logged in and then another long wait comes for China's Letter of Acceptance!  I don't find it coincidental that my Bible study this week was on being patient.  Let my faith be matured as I wait for His perfect timing!

Blessings and hope for us all to have child-like faith!

"I need my momma"

Just a quick adoption update...we have immigration approval and hope to send our dossier to China very soon!!!  Now...

Yesterday, we were driving back home from a long soccer trip to Greenville, SC when Sam started feeling car sick.  We had a van packed full of people and luggage, so I was sitting in the very back when this all started.  When I realized what was going on, I decided to switch seats to be closer to him.  In the middle of me straddling the middle row (I'm not as young and limber as I like to think I am) trying to get to him, Sam stole my heart once again with what he said.  In his voice of pain and suffering, he said, "I need my momma!"  Well, let me tell you I may have pulled a hamstring getting over that seat as fast as possible when I heard those words.  I clung to those sweet words as he puked into a cup off and on for the next hour.  I found joy in the middle of this smelly and messy moment.  My friend, Sharon, had mentioned "joy bombs" that God gives us and friends, I never guessed that I would have so much joy in being able to wipe vomit from Sam's nose and mouth.  What I learned in that moment is that: 1) Sam knows to cry out for his momma to help take care of him.  This might not seem like a big deal to those of you who have parented your child from birth, but this is huge for him to show his vulnerability.  2) Sam appreciates the care I gave him in holding the cup and cleaning him up.  How do I know this?  Hours after we got home, this was our converstation:

Me: Sam, I'm so glad you're feeling better.
Sam:  Me too, thank you for taking care of me.
Me: (teary/choking voice) You're welcome, buddy.

Seriously...how sweet!  This from a kid who is brutally honest.  Bad breath? He'll let you know.  Got a zit you're trying to cover?  He'll point it out. 

And then the icing on the cake came today.  We were putting a new booster seat in the car and he asked, "When we get Eli?  I miss him."  Joy bombs!!!  Keep dropping them, God! I love to see how God is preparing Sam to be a big brother. 

I hope that you can see the joy bombs in your life!  Keep your eyes open for them.  They are there even in the middle of puke fests and booster seat installations.  Cling to them!  Share them with others. 

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Eli Matthew Franklin

We have been praying about a name for our child and have finally settled on Eli Matthew Franklin.  It's amazing to hear my children pray for their brother, Eli.  Something in my heart just melts when they utter his name.  Often times it's just in passing from them..."I wonder if Eli will like playing in the snow?", or intentional prayers, "I pray that Eli is ready to come home." 

  

Eli playing with a turtle!

Sam is going through a phase where he notices when people and even animals are by themselves.  He saw a bird flying solo in our backyard and commented, "they looking for they family."  He saw a baby sitting in a baby carrier at school and his mother was about 20 yards away.  Sam only saw that there was a baby with nobody close by.  He said, "Mama, why he not have a family?"  I showed him where the baby's mama was, but he was worried about this baby.  At first, I thought it was sweet that he didn't realize that of course, this baby wasn't left here without a mother.  Then, a sadness hit me...that my 4 year old would be burdened by the sight of children and animals away from their family.  I think he understands that God designed us for family. Sam has been praying some sweet prayers on behalf of so many waiting boys in China.  He prays every night that "everybody will get a new brother."  I like his boldness!  Of course, he also prayed that his new brother would have his "own" toys.  Ha!  I mean, really...who wants to share toys?  Sam seems to be understanding a little more about the reality that he will be a big brother.  Sam and Eli will be 8 months apart and I anticipate great joy and struggles.  I pray that they will have a great bond and become best friends.

We can see that God is preparing all of our hearts and we are praying that He will prepare Eli to join our family.  It's so hard to stare at a face and long for him to be home, but I trust in God's perfect timing.  I know there is much work to do in our hearts to be prepared.  Eli Matthew Franklin, you are greatly loved and prayed for daily!!!  We can't wait for you to come home and play in the snow with you!!!

Here we go again!!! Ready, set, SLOW!

Well, here we go again!  After many months of prayer for direction for our family, Jon and I both felt the calling.  So, we answered the call and are in the process of adopting from China again.  We have completed our home study and our paperwork is at immigration.  We are headed to get our biometric fingerprints soon and then after immigration approval our paperwork will be off to China!  We aren't sure of a timeline for that to happen...which leads me to this...

When we began this journey several months ago, I prayed that I would not be consumed with the adoption process like I was the first time.  I apologize to everyone who had to endure me whining and complaining over documents that you had never heard of, timelines that didn't match up to mine, and countless other issues dealing with our first adoption.  I confess, I was crazy and controlling.  Thank you, Captain Obvious!!!  This time I have prayed that I would just relax in God's goodness and perfect timing as He orchestrates this amazing story.  I can honestly say that there have been moments that I've been successful, and others that I've slipped back to my controlling ways.  All I need to do is take a glance at Sam to realize how perfectly God works.

I feel like God has been showing me a common thread in my life lately...SLOW DOWN.  Recently, at our youth retreat, the weekend theme was walking in the will of God.  I was reminded that we must crucify our will in order to walk in His.  It is not always comfortable to walk in His will, BUT it is GOOD!  God is calling me to slow down, to let go of some things that I hold too tightly.  Some of these things are tangible, some not.  I am a work in progress, but I trust that He will complete this work that He has begun.  I want to climb this mountain with my hands wide open! 

Mother's Day...mixed feelings

I'm feeling so blessed to celebrate this Mother's Day!  This is my first time celebrating as a mother to 3 children!  I've been feeling a little heavy hearted as this day is quickly approaching.  My heart is a little broken for Sam and his birthmother.  My desire is to honor Sam's birthmother in China as well as his nanny that cared for him in the orphanage for 2 1/2 years.  How do you do that??? I've asked other BTDT adoptive mom's what they do and they have great ideas.  Some suggestions were to plant trees/flowers, light a candle, read a specific book... I'm feeling the pressure to start a tradition that will honor these women, but I keep thinking that Sam will not understand the significance...for now. So, we will honor these women and pray that as Sam grows that God will help him develop an understanding and love for these women.  I realize that these women are highly unlikely to ever read this, but I still want to offer my gratitude to them both.

To Sam's birthmother...thank you for choosing life for Sam.  I can't imagine how difficult of a choice you made to give him a better life than you thought you could provide.  Thank you for the greatest gift our family has ever received.  You will never know the impact that your choice has made on us.  I pray that God will fill you with His peace and a knowledge that Sam is greatly loved.  Above that, I pray that you know the Father's love for you!

To Sam's nanny...thank you for standing in the gap and loving Sam until we could get him.  It is obvious that you loved him and took great pride in caring for him.  Thank you for caring for him after his surgery and for the affection you showed him.  Thank you for loving the children that came before him, the children that come after him, and most importantly...the children that will remain in the orphanage.  I pray that God will sustain you as you grow attached to countless children, only to see them leave.  I pray that you will love these children as God loves them.  May God reveal His great love for you!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Complete!

We got Sam's visa today, so we are able to leave China Saturday! Ready to come home!!! He is doing great and I was able to leave the room without him for about 15 minutes. That may not seem like much, but its the longest I've been away from him since we got him. I had to go to the lobby to get his visa and returned to find him laughing and playing. Such a relief!

I wanted to share a little "God wink" with you...back in April I visited Shepherds Field and met Joseph. He was close to aging out and was in danger of not being adopted. I purchased some of his art work for the kids to keep in their rooms as a reminder to pray that he would get a family. We prayed for him each night.  I was thrilled when we learned that God answered the prayers of so many! Honestly, I was a little afraid to have my children ask that prayer because I knew the odds were not in his favor! What a lesson I learned about the power of prayer! So, we got to visit shepherds field at the beginning of this trip and Joseph was already with his family. So, imagine my surprise when we were at the medical clinic getting Sam's TB results and Emily says, "mom, there's Joseph!"  Yes, it was. He was standing there for his test results too! I was so excited to see him with his little brother and father. I stood amazed at how God orchestrated that moment. I do not believe it was a coincidence, but rather a gift to see how He did provide Joseph with a family! God is good!

Not sure if I will blog again before we leave, but we please keep us in your prayers. We feel blessed, but are certainly struggling with adjusting to a toddler that speaks another language. Sam had a major meltdown this afternoon in the middle of the hotel. It's frustrating for him and us. Thankfully, it didn't last long. We would appreciate prayers for good health, safe travels, easy transition with time change and Sam's new environment. This will be his 3rd move in 2 weeks. Stressful for the little guy!

One week

Wow, what a difference in one week! Sam continues to amaze  us with how he has so easily adjusted into our family! He is happy and full of energy. He eats everything we've offered and doesn't fuss much. He is allowing Jon to hold him more, but must be holding my hand! He only likes to take a bath if Brooks gets in with him. His speech is difficult to discern, but he mimics sounds exactly. We've figured out he is saying things like thank you, Emily, daddy, no, mama, gugu (brother) based on sounds. We expect that once his palate is repaired that he will make more sense. His understanding of English is amazing! We are in complete awe of the little guy and feel so blessed that God chose us to be his family! HIS love never fails.

Our travel group has 11 adoptive families that are awesome. We had the chance to gather in a small play room this afternoon to worship together. Our stories were all different, but at the core we all had the same theme...obedience to answering the call.  We've met people adopting 2 children at once, some on their 4th/5th adoptions, others like us...first adoptions. I get all misty eyed each morning at breakfast as I walk past table after table of adoptive families. It's so moving to see firsthand what love can do! As we closed in prayer, it was requested that all of our families would go back and be a witness to the great need for families for these precious children. There are so many in need!  So, I'm asking you now, would you consider asking Him how you can help with the orphan crisis? The harvest is plentiful!

Medical exam

We took Sam for his medical exam today. They did a full body exam which he did not enjoy. He let the doctor know how he felt about it. He was good for the ENT and ended with a TB screening test. He didn't cry When they put the needle in. It is crazy to see a kid with no understanding of pain. He has cracked his head and done things that make me hurt and he hasn't even whimpered. I know this will change as he learns from his siblings. He did run into the wall today and said "wow" with a giggle. He continues to test boundaries and we are learning how much a toddler can get into and FAST! So thankful to have Emily and Brooks with us. They are doing so great with him!

Walls coming down

Wow! The walls are coming down. Sam is full throttle giggles, squeals, and high energy. We have had to work for smiles, but not any more! Even when we went to the museum today, he was more comfortable. He missed his nap because we were out layer than expected and what a mistake. He was so wound up that he was showing some behaviors of hitting, spitting, and kicking. We joked that we should ask you to stop praying for him to come out of his shell because he is out!!! So now we are trying to teach him how to be gentle and love his family. He is talking so much and he spoke his first English word..."no" because he heard it about a hundred times today! We are learning to not let him overdo his playing like this evening...his hernia was causing him some pain. All it took was some quiet TLC and a warm bottle to calm him right down. We will get him all fixed up as soon as we get home. Not sure if I've even mentioned his special need, but he has a bilateral cleft lip and palate. His palate is still open and I was nervous about his eating. Not an issue at all. I've cut bigger holes in the bottle and sippy cup for him and he eats like a champ!

Zoo and 5 Spring Park

Sam slept 8:30-7:30 in his bed! He woke up once and I said "momma's here" and we went back to sleep. He woke up so happy with lots of smiles. Then we bundled him up in 3 layers of pants, 3 shirts, puffy coat, hat and gloves and went to the zoo and park. It was a chilly 15 degrees! He wasn't phased by the cold, but Emily was! Skinny girl and not enough layers! :-) Sam weighs 30 pounds and is built like a tight end! We enjoyed getting out, even in the freezing cold. Sam continues to be nervous when we leave the room, but we know it is building trust that we won't leave him. I've had our guide tell him that I won't leave him ever. I can't imagine what he is thinking. So many changes...
While touring the zoo, the kids got to ride a camel. Quite funny! The leopard cubs loved Emily's bright hat and chased her down the fence line. Many locals were amused. Brooks did a little Tai Chi in the park. We have been followed by locals asking us where we are from and how we have a Chinese baby. Our guide has taught us some mandarin so we can respond. They react very positively and are kind with warm wishes for Sam.
Sam is amazing...naps well, potty trained, eats good amounts (not over eating which is typical). We are so amazed at how blessed we are. We fully understand that hard days are ahead, but we are soaking up these moments.

Gotcha!

They brought him to us and he was scared. He tried to be so tough, but as he figured out they were leaving it was game over. Heartbroken, all of the Franklin's were crying as we hurt so much for him. We then had to load him in a car and drive to get his passport photo. Well, they needed him to stop crying and for his mouth to be closed...fat chance! Finally, they decided that one of the photos would suffice. He kept crying until we gave him yogurt with straw. Then we returned to hotel for paperwork. Sam played with all his toys, but was so serious and guarded. He went to bed in the pack and play, but ended up in bed with us after he woke up looking for his crib mates. He never cried, just looked on both sides of the bed. Well, I may regret it, but I put him in bed with us. He called out "mama" when I got up...melted my heart.

Day 2: Sam is serious. He is so tough and brave. We are a family that is not so serious, so i decided that we needed to lighten the mood. I began throwing his hat at him and he melted into a fit of giggles that had us all in the palm of his hand. He does get scared and puts up walls any time we leave the room. When we went to sign papers, the orphanage directors kept trying to hold him and he pushed them away. Again, points with mom! This boy knows what's up! He was so loved and well taken care of and we are eternally grateful to all who loved him until we could get to him. Oh, he's potty trained...BONUS! Bonding is going great. He prefers me but will let Dad give him a bottle. Gotta run! Hope to post again soon!

Shepherd's Field

We made it in last night. We are spending today loving on kids at Shepherd's Field. Love this place! Emily and Brooks amazed me at how they just jumped right in with these kids! My prayer was that they would see them with God's eyes. For those that don't know...Shepherds field is a wonderful village providing care for special needs children. There are so many new faces which is great because so many have forever families!
Speaking of forever families...tomorrow is our day. We fly to Lanzhou in the morning. Still can't believe it's happening!!! Blessings!!!

Thanksgiving lunch

We are Atlanta airport. Boys just had the Varsity and girls had Pei Wei. Best thanksgiving lunch! Now to board and fly 15 hours! Ahh, Dramamine for dessert!

Giving Him the Glory!

As we are days from leaving I am overwhelmed by God's provision. One of the big concerns when people consider adoption is the financial cost. We had felt the nudge to adopt before, but dismissed it because we didn't have the money. Thankfully, Jon made me go to Financial Peace several years ago. We weren't in debt so I didn't think we needed it. We were already tithing, so why go? Well, what an impact it has had in our lives. We were actually telling our money what we wanted to do.

Now, I must confess that we didn't have an "adoption fund" when we began this journey. We had to restructure our spending to make one. We had to make some cuts. We had to sell a car. We sold stuff on eBay, Craigslist and other online sources. We had a fundraiser, where family, friends and strangers donated to help us. I worked a soccer camp. Jon worked overtime. The kids got and are getting less "stuff" for Christmas. We do not feel like we have sacrificed anything, but rather gained so much. God has used His people to provide. Adoption is expensive! In the past two weeks, we have been gifted with over $10,000!!! Yes, you read that right, $10,000! This means that we will complete our adoption without having to borrow any money!!! What a testimony to the provision of God! He has done more than we could ever imagine. Thanks be to God! Thank you for praying and supporting our family!!!

God will provide all of the needs to whatever He is calling you to!

Counting Down!!!

We are 10 days away from leaving for China!!! It is a shopping, packing frenzy over here!  We are trying to soak up the remaining days of being a family of 4, but are so excited to be a family of five in time for Christmas.  Oh, to see 5 stockings hanging this year!!!
I've got a to do list a mile long, so just a short blog.  I do plan to blog while in China, so follow along as we go get our boy!  Please join us in prayer for...

• health for all 5 of us
• safe travels (driving in China is CRAZY)
• Sam will attach/bond easily with our family
• us to be HIS light in China

Blessings to you all!!!

Blogging...oops!

Well, it's only been about 4 months since my last post...and so much has happened.  Quick recap on the past months...I went to China, we got LID (log in date), we received referral for our son!  Yes, we have a son waiting for us in Gansu province!  Here is Sam...

How cute is he!  We are so excited to go get him!  We are at the stage in the adoption where we are awaiting LOA (letter of acceptance).  People keep asking when we will get to travel to get him and my response is "hopefully by Christmas".  It is my selfish desire to have Sam home by then, but I really want to wait for God's perfect timing.  He has proven faithful and so I trust Him to make us a family of 5 at just the right time.  Some days it's harder to trust, but I need to remember that He is never early and never late!

In the meantime, we pray for God to be at work preparing us for Sam and him for us.  We are having fun buying Batman jammies and basketball shorts.  This boy is going to be a playa!  Brooks wants to teach him all the sports ;-) and Emily wants to snuggle him...get in line!  We cherish the pictures and videos that we have of him.  It's crazy to be in love with someone you've never met and feel such a longing for them.  We continue to be filled with God's peace and are so thankful to be on this journey with Him.

Hopefully, the next blog won't take 4 months!  Oops!

DTC!!!

We got the email from our agency today stating that we are officially DTC, dossier to China.  This is such a blessing!  Our dossier is basically our life summed up in 13 documents.  It has taken us 7 months to reach this point from submitting our adoption application.  I am so thankful and feel a weight has been lifted!  The next step is that we wait for a LID, Log in Date.  Once we are logged in, we are eligible to receive referrals.  While this is what I so can't wait for, I'm also nervous. 

Please join us in prayer for us to have wisdom and discernment.  We pray that God will stir our hearts and confirm the child He has for us.  We ask for His peace while we wait upon Him.  We ask that our plans would be in alignment with His.   

Song stuck in my head..."strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord".



Romans 8:26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

The Winner is...

We did the drawing last night for our fundraiser and the winner is...Kendal S.  She works with my mom in Oklahoma!  So excited for her and her family.  We had a special prayer time before the drawing and thanked God for each of you that donated and prayed for His blessings on you and your family!  Emily drew the name and Brooks read off the ticket number.  They loved being a part of the drawing.  YOU all donated close to $3,000!!!  What a blessing!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Ephesians 3:20

Hope to post again very soon about being DTC...

LAST CHANCE!!!

Last chance for you to enter the raffle for a week at the beach!  We will draw the lucky winner Sunday evening.  Just click the donate button to enter.  We are so thankful for each of you that have already supported us.  We are blessed to have so many friends be a part of our adoption story!  Scroll down to earlier post to see photos of the condo!

We are expecting to be DTC (dossier to China) next week!  I'll update then!