Okay, so my flesh is weak! I'm not sure if this is normal for people going through adoption, but I'm going to be honest and put my confession out there. I have been struggling with thoughts of "Is this really going to happen?" My mind is plagued with what if's, doubts and fears of this adoption actually happening. I heard on the radio THIS MORNING that fear is cancer to the mind. It was like God was sending me a message. Then in my quiet time with Him I confessed my fears and doubts (as if He didn't already know). His answer was "Walk with me". There was no promise that it will be easy or that the adoption will happen on my timeline. When I really think about having it "my way", it scares me! I asked God to encourage me through His word and this is what He showed me in Numbers 23:19
God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
How easily my human mind forgets all of His faithfulness! I am clinging to this verse and pray that I will become more like Him. I'm praying that I will be faithful in walking with Him!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Next home study (#3) is December 6th!
Absolutely normal thoughts. It's a long process and I went through ups and downs the whole time. Just think of it as being pregnant (for a little longer than normal). God's timing is perfect and He will work everything out. I look back in wonder at all He did during our adoption. I could not have orchestrated it nearly as well as He did. It is so hard to be patient and wait on Him!
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