So, I wait

So, I wait...for so many things.  I wait for forms to be returned that we sent off 3 months ago.  I wait for the reference letters to be written from family and doctors.  I wait for the home study to be finalized so we can submit it.  I wait for the next step in what seems to be a forever process.  I wait for my child.  I have no control over the timeline, even though I have a great one all mapped out in my head!  It seems that my routine is I hurry up and complete a form and then wait.  Rinse and repeat...  If God would just show me His timeline, things would be so much better!  Or would they?  If I knew when this all would happen, would I seek Him?  Would I cry out to Him?  Would I depend on Him?  Would I try to change His mind and beg Him to speed it up?  Would I grumble and complain?  Oh wait, that's exactly what I'm doing right now!  Although I have no control over the timing of how this story plays out, I do have control over how I respond to the wait.  I can grumble my time away or I can trust that His timing is perfect!  I say it over and over, but am I just talking the talk?  I know that God is having us wait for a reason...more like lots of reasons.  This is the time to strengthen my relationship with my husband, daughter and son.  It's a time to pour into those relationships so that we can pour out on our new son/daughter.  It's time to ask God to prepare our hearts for this new child and them for us.  It's a time to grow in His word, as I'm sure we will need it with the upcoming struggles we will face.  It's a time to be quiet and listen to His voice, so I will know it distinctly from all the other voices in my head (yes, I'm a bit crazy!).  It's a time to focus on someone/something other than ourselves and our situation.  It's a time to ask God to show me a new way to pray.  So, I wait...

LORD, help me learn your ways.
   Show me how you want me to live.
⁵ Guide me and teach me your truths.
   You are my God, my Savior.
   You are the one I have been waiting for.

"Walk with me"

Okay, so my flesh is weak!  I'm not sure if this is normal for people going through adoption, but I'm going to be honest and put my confession out there.  I have been struggling with thoughts of "Is this really going to happen?"  My mind is plagued with what if's, doubts and fears of this adoption actually happening.  I heard on the radio THIS MORNING that fear is cancer to the mind.  It was like God was sending me a message.  Then in my quiet time with Him I confessed my fears and doubts (as if He didn't already know).  His answer was "Walk with me".  There was no promise that it will be easy or that the adoption will happen on my timeline.  When I really think about having it "my way", it scares me!  I asked God to encourage me through His word and this is what He showed me in Numbers 23:19

God is not human, that he should lie,

not a human being, that he should change his mind.

Does he speak and then not act?

Does he promise and not fulfill? 

How easily my human mind forgets all of His faithfulness!  I am clinging to this verse and pray that I will become more like Him.  I'm praying that I will be faithful in walking with Him!!!  Happy Thanksgiving to all! 

Next home study (#3) is December 6th!

Angels Among Us

We got our fingerprints back and CAN forms from Alabama.  Still waiting on Georgia, Oklahoma and Colorado.  I am done with the required readings!!!  We have our second home study tomorrow. 

I am amazed at how I see God in the finest details of our adoption process.  I've been reading in Genesis about the servant finding a wife for Isaac and the specific details that went into this process.  The goal was clearly defined and specific prayers were asked for the journey to succeed.  Genesis 24:40...'The Lord, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success, so that you can get a wife for my son...'  I am comforted by that verse that God will send his angel with us and make our journey a success. 

God has proven His faithfulness repeatedly by answering those unspoken requests of my heart.  He knows my need and provides.  We've been blessed by God using His people to speak encouragement into our lives.  He has sent lots of angels to make this journey a success!

Home Study #1

We had our first home study and home tour today.  We got to share about our relationship, how we met, strengths, weaknesses...  It was actually quite nice to hear and be reminded of how much our love has grown in our 13 years of marriage.  We have seen that as we grow in our faith with God, He has drawn us closer to each other.  Loved our social worker.  We felt comfortable with her immediately!  What an answer to a prayer!  Thanks to all who prayed for us today.  God answered in an immediate and profound way.  He is so GOOD!  Next, we must submit our autobiographies and then schedule our second visit.  I'm done, waiting patiently on Jon to do his ;-)! 

Medicals

This week we had our medical forms completed and TB test.  I finished Hague online module training, and Jon is halfway done!  Still reading, reading, reading.  We are preparing for our first Home Study visit next week.  Praying for God's perfect timing and plan.

Paperwork!!!

We had to get CAN forms sent off to Georgia, Oklahoma and Colorado this week.  Took medical form to pediatrician for verification that our children are up to date on immunizations and "healthy".  Lots of reading and on line Hague training.  It makes me thankful that I am a stay at home mother!  God has given me a peace in this process.  I like things done on my timeline, and I am clinging to Him for continued peace.  His ways are perfect!

Fingerprints

Jon and I went to get our fingerprints done at the police station today.  Putting them in mail tomorrow along with CAN forms.  Praying for God to bless every step of this process.  Continuing to ask for His guidance and provision.